Paranormal Feelings

I posted these as comments on a YouTuber’s paranormal post, two different posts about the same incident. I am reposting my comments as a way to start writing something more on this site. I do have an interest in the paranormal but, I’m more skeptical than a believer. I know we don’t know everything, there are so many things science has yet to understand or discover, but… a lot can be explained by simple things too. I don’t rush in to believe either way, I like to observe and make a decision based on facts, more than emotions or crowd mentality. If that makes sense.

Anyway, here is a start to my site about the unexplained, paranormal and supernatural, mostly based in Ontario because that is where I am.

Paranormal things run in my family. My Grandmother was told there were lines of people wanting to talk to her (by a woman who worked as a medium). But, after seeing her recently deceased sister, my Grandmother did not want to experience more of it. She was frightened. The medium told her to just say out loud that she did not want to hear from those people/ spirits/ ghosts. That seemed to work. The only time she had another ghost/ paranormal event was just after her husband died. When I began having some paranormal experiences and that feeling of not being alone, I didn’t like it. So I did the same and that stopped it for me as well. I think it is more than I want to be involved with. I am still interested in the paranormal, beyond ghosts and spirits especially. I’ve never decided if I really believe in ghosts, as people think of them. But, I believe there was something which felt very scary to me as a teenager and young woman. I’m glad I decided not to be more involved in it. I am an atheist witch, in my beliefs. I strongly believe people will find what they look for, whether they like what they find, or not.

I once had a very creepy feeling about my nephew when he was a toddler. I had put him to bed, was lying next to him after telling bedtime stories and having a bit of talking about the moon, stars, just simple relaxing conversation for a little guy. Just waiting for him to fall asleep and then I would go downstairs to do the dishes, etc. Somehow I had a sudden, strong feeling that he was the devil or evil. This is so far from anything I usually feel or have ever felt in my life. I don’t even believe in devils, hell, etc. I’m an atheist Witch and I only believe in people and the planet itself. I was hugely creeped out and it lasted at least 15 minutes until I made myself get up and leave. I never had that come back, the nephew is a grown man now (22 or 23). I still remember how awful and terrible and scary the feeling was. But, I love the boy, looked after him for his early years when my sister went back to school. I can only think the feelings came from me somehow. But, I do understand your feelings about that doll, how strong and strange they can be. I’d be curious about how it is going in Australia too, but not really wanting to know.

Haunted Ontario

I’ve almost always lived in Ontario and I don’t think I have seen a ghost. Not something I could prove to myself or anyone else for certain. I explore abandoned, old buildings and never feel they are haunted. I don’t expect to see a ghost and maybe that’s why I haven’t. But, I do believe in ghosts.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a ghost. How can you ever really be sure though? Something spotted from the corner of your eye… an odd light in a photo you took… a sudden draught in the room… Would you say you’ve seen a ghost, for sure?

So many people believe in ghosts – you feel it must be true. But, everyone should use their own judgement. Take what you see and use what you know to make our own decision about what you believe to be true.

Haunted Ontario Groups

Start Your own Ghost Hunting or Paranormal Investigations Business

You don’t have to turn your ghost hunting into a business. You could keep it a little more casual and turn it into a society for your area. Get others with the same interest in ghosts to come together. Talk about your own experiences, your beliefs, places you have explored and then make plans to explore and document a location as a group.

Or, you could try turning it into a business. A unique home business.

Where the Wild Things Are: Healing is Complicated

Originally posted to ‘BackWash: Where the Wild Things Are’ newsletter, January, 9, 2004.

I have mixed feelings about healing. It seems to me that people take it too lightly. As if you can heal anything with the right words, the right herb the right touch, etc. I don’t believe that’s true.

Healing has to come from within. You can add things and hear things and understand things but that alone won’t heal you. There aren’t instant cures for healing the mind or the body. At least that’s how it seems to me.

When people are in pain they want it to stop. That’s why any kind of instant cure is hoped for and paid for. But, that doesn’t mean it will work or that the same problem isn’t still there, just buried or masked.

Yes, you can take Tylenol to get rid of a headache. But the headache goes away when your blood thins due to the Tylenol, but not only that. The body is a mystery, still. We know what’s connected to what and how things work in a basic way. There is so much we don’t know. So much to do with the power of our own minds and thoughts. Positive thinking.

I hear people talking negatively and I cringe on the inside. It’s a mistake to be negative and then to express that is adding to the problem. Expressing it gives it a chance to exist, to have it’s own energy. To become part of the world in a more physical form.

Not that I haven’t expressed my share of negativity. Sometimes I express it to purge it from me. I get rid of it by giving it a name. When I name it I then know where to find it inside of myself and that’s a start to ridding myself of it or the original problem.

Healing is complicated. Just as people and life are complicated. But, people make life more complicated sometimes more complicated than it would ever be on it’s own. Too many rules that must be obeyed. Rules are too unbending. In order to heal you have to bend and be free to let go of some things and accept others.

Sometimes I get writing here and I think I’m making no sense at all and contradicting everything I write as I go. But, it’s all theory, opinion and ideas. Take them as they are and make what you will of them.

Where the Wild Things Are: How do you Feel about Your Religion?

Originally posted to ‘BackWash: Where the Wild Things Are’ newsletter, December, 8, 2003.

What would it feel like to live in your own skin if it was all new to you? I’m thinking about hearing the blood in your veins. Feeling your food being pushed along to digestion. Taking each breath rather than leaving it on auto-pilot. All those things we have grown so used to that we don’t even feel them when we try. How different would your body feel if you felt everything going on inside yourself? How would you feel about your body? It would be kind of creepy I think. Too much information about all those regular functions we take for granted.

I was reading a book, one of those historical fiction type things. It’s a different version of the story of Arthur and Guinevere. But, the book is turning into an advertisement for Christianity and the one true god. I hate it when that happens. First, it makes light of what people felt back then, how seriously they took their religion and the world they lived in. Secondly, it tries to make what I believe look foolish. The first part annoys me far more than the second.

You may be surprised. But, I don’t have to defend my beliefs, I know what they are. I’m not on a crusade to promote Witchery or Paganism in general. I can be quite happy if all the world isn’t Pagan. I’m willing to share but I’m not forcing anyone to see things my way. That’s why I don’t feel overly angry about the way my beliefs are treated in this book.

However, it’s wrong to have someone convert to Christianity for no real reason. In the book the main character is a Pict woman, Guinevere. She has a slave (a Briton taken in war) translate when the tribes meet to discuss a treaty. Anyway, the slave is Christian, a monk previously as it turns out. She decides to learn the language since she becomes betrothed to one of Arthur’s noblemen. During this time she is curious about the slave’s religion and asks him about his beliefs. That’s fine, I expect young people were curious about a lot of things, still are. But, I can’t see her converting to another religion for such flimsy reasons as are presented in this book. The reader is expected to believe she suddenly finds her own religion hollow and meaningless just because the slave talks to her about one god. She goes to a sacred place and gets no answer to her prayers to the gods. So she prays to the one god of the slave instead. There’s no answer there either but that’s not mentioned in the book.

She asks the slave a lot of questions, doubting the existence or sincerity of his god. But even though he has no real answers beyond having faith and believing she accepts that. How would a real person back then choose to accept that over what she has always known? What her family and tribe continue to believe. It’s like telling someone they have a third leg and expecting them to just believe it cause you said they should. It’s based on nothing but the word of one person. Whereas her own religion is all around her, her ancestors and the people of her tribe.

So what does any of this have to do with the beginning of this? It’s all about feeling your religion. I don’t think religion or beliefs are something you can take off as you change your clothes. They shouldn’t be something so light. You need to feel it all the time, in all kinds of ways and places. If you aren’t feeling something special then you need to reconsider and investigate other ways, other paths. Like your body, if you forget how to feel the blood in your veins you’re not really living fully. Maybe you’re taking too much for granted and should start fresh, with a new perspective.

Anyway, I’m not sure if I’ll finish the book. It’s getting bogged down in dogma for me.

Where the Wild Things Are: Death and Dying

Originally posted to ‘BackWash: Where the Wild Things Are’ newsletter, May, 16, 2004.

My Dad is quite likely going to die soon, any day now. Don’t worry about sending sympathy, condolences or anything of that sort. You don’t know him. For me it’s a lot more personal.

People think the dying become almost holy. As if, while dying, they change and become a better person all of a sudden. You can’t talk badly about them, you must visit them and you should really, really hold their hand.

Well, my Dad was not a nice, happy, friendly Dad. His dying hasn’t changed that. I don’t want to hold his hand. I don’t want to go in and see him now that he is becoming a pile of meat rather than a human being. Sure, I can stick my hand inside a turkey each Thanksgiving and pull out the little bag of goodies. That doesn’t mean I want to do the same sort of ghoulish thing with my Dad. So, I am visiting him (second time will be today after work) but I am not going to touch him.

What do you believe about death? That gets tested each time someone close to us (physically or emotionally) dies. I still believe in reincarnation. I still believe the body becomes about as useful as roadkill once the person inside is gone. I still think the best body disposal method is compost in the family garden rather than taking up space in a graveyard plot. I’d much rather have my remains sucked up by worms and trees than rotting away in an expensive box.

Am I grossing you out? Am I being too blunt? Do you not want to think about death in such a practical way? Too bad. Death is part of life. There is no getting away from it. Death is always there, waiting at the end. That, I very strongly believe.

I’m not afraid of death. I’m just in no hurry to get there. I’d miss too many things. Every ordinary day, new inventions and ideas, seeing the tulips each Spring and so on.

Anyway, my Dad wants to be cremated. It looks like he will soon have his wish. I don’t think I will miss him. But I’m doing my best to be a good daughter now, in these last days. Not for him, not for myself especially, but for my brother and sisters who seem to expect something grand and dramatic and perfect. As if now that he is about to kick off forever we should honour him for the things he did right.

Replying About Wicca

I haven’t written much about Wicca and Paganism for awhile. I got settled in and knew my own thoughts and just left it at that. But, I feel good to be posting ideas and sharing them. I left (maybe too many) comments on a YouTube video about “What is Wicca?“.  I liked the video and found a lot of people asking questions as I read the comments. So, I began adding replies. Here they are, without the original question, but I don’t think that will make a big difference.

I  enjoyed your video. I’ve been Wiccan for about 30 years, always solitary. We follow pretty different paths but the core of your feelings about what what Wicca and Paganism are very much mirrors the way I have always felt. It comes from within yourself, it is very individual but based on caring for the world and the planet and putting effort into them. Saving our home, in a nutshell.

I did think it was odd when you began speaking about Wicca as a way to feel better about death. For me it is about appreciating life and death is just part of that cycle. I just turned 50 a bit more than a month ago and time/ age is on my mind more than ever before really. But, I don’t worry about what happens so much as not wanting the journey to end.

Anyway, I don’t believe in spellwork because at some level it seems to be against harming none. To make a change which effects someone else (which even changes to yourself will effect others) is in some way causing harm. The spell part of Wicca has always been mildly aggravating to me because it does get abused, like a get rich quick scheme rather than people taking responsibility, putting in the time and learning how to get what they need without a crutch, or gimmick or just expecting the world somehow owes them a favour.

Too much commenting now. But, I did say “Thank you!” out loud when you said Wicca not all about spells. I do wish more people would look past spells and see what really is here and inside themselves. What real power they have without gimmicks, tricks, etc. 

About Covens

That’s pretty much why I never joined a coven. I would have had to compromise what I feel and believe in so I could fit into what the consensus of belief was with the group. I call myself an Earth Witch but I’m also an Atheist. I’d never be able to fit into any coven and people in covens would not like or accept what I feel/ believe.

However, I do think the weakness of Paganism as a religion is not having a consensus of beliefs. It leaves us without a firm identity in common and we do be come a target of other “organized” religions and their believers. Pagans in covens stand together almost like Christians because they do have that agreed upon system of beliefs and expectations. So, in that way it isn’t a bad thing.

About Meditation

Meditation is kind of like prayer in the way it can focus your mind on what is important and help you pull your energy together to accomplish whatever it is you choose as your goal.

About the Masons

The masons are really cool. I think that’s part of what makes me really appreciate rocks and old buildings.

About the Inverted Pentagram

Make your own decision. I feel strongly against the inverted pentagram and ouija boards. You’re bringing something into your life which you may not want.

For Someone Who has Lost Track

Work on making yourself stronger and happier. You can’t help someone else, or yourself, if your own life is at a low ebb. Spend time with people who are positive and strong so you can learn to be positive and strong too. You have to actually look in the direction you want to go. Great advice for driving a car and steering your course through life too.

About Pagan Books

I especially like reading from Doreen Valiente and Marian Green. Also: Practical Solitary Magic Paperback by Nancy B. Watson. Keep reading, make notes about what you find and feel and what you really believe in and connect with. I even wrote notes in my books. It felt strange to mark them at first but then I began to feel I was making myself at home in the pages.

About Fitting Into Wicca

Don’t try to make Wicca right for you. It’s not like joining a special club. Read about religions, faiths and beliefs and find what you actually connect to. You will connect somewhere and it will be right for you when you find it. Don’t stress about finding it or being Wiccan. Wicca should suit you – not the other way around. Hope you understand because it can feel so wonderful when you discover the right fit for you – even if it is not Wicca.

About Choosing Wicca When Parents Don’t Agree

Essentially Wicca is about appreciating life and nature. Your parents can hardly think you are going to hell or be upset if you spend more time outdoors and have those qualities. Christians are supposed to care about life and nature too. Don’t upset your parents with Wicca – that’s not the point of it. When your life is more your own then you can do more things on your own and in your own way. Don’t make Wicca a dividing wall. You can be Wiccan if you want to be and you don’t have to prove it to anyone by flaunting it or buying stuff or even having rituals. Keep it to yourself and experience it without the extra trimmings for awhile. No harm in that.

Probably arrogant to quote yourself, but sometimes I like to remember what I thought at the time and how I said/ typed it.

 

 

Where the Wild Things Are: Choosing your Words

Originally posted to ‘BackWash: Where the Wild Things Are’ newsletter, June, 10, 2003.

“The bible was written by the same people who said the Earth was flat.”

This was on a button, a collection of buttons, on a website. I think it’s an interesting point.

How much trust do you put into someone’s words. If they make it into black and white are they gold? Or do you think about what they say, compare it to your own ideas, values and common sense?

Then, do you go a step further and consider who the writer is. What influence do their own values have on their writing. After that, do you think they are a good source to base your opinions or actions on? Never stop using your common sense as a guide, no matter how grand the authors seem.

Just as you should never copy someone’s Book of Shadows and claim it as your own. It will never be yours, why would you even want it to? Your opinions should be your opinions, not a copy of someone else’s life and thoughts. Stretch your mind, take a chance and have opinions and experiences of your own.

In the end, people who believe everything they read and copy it as their own, never are anything but a clone – a copy. Be unique, be an individual, take a deep breath and step out into mid-air, invent something new – yourself!

How Will the God-Fearing Own Up in the End?

To those who believe in God and the Bible… your book says humans are the stewards/ the caretakers of the Earth. You worry about getting into heaven or going to hell for your sins…

How will you explain the mess the planet is in, the animals being killed by human pollution and human over population and all the rest – to your boss? Do you even think about the production, consumption and packaging which you throw away every day? Do you ever wonder were it all ends up? Do you really try to use less or is it easier to just go ahead and do what you want and just buy more stuff?

When you think about your sins, consider those against the environment, the planet and the life on it. Maybe your God will be upset about the wreckage of the planet more than the small sins you think are so important, to you.

I’m not perfect. I won’t pretend I don’t cause pollution and add to the problems of the planet. But, I do think about the planet and, being human, I do think we are responsible for the planet and our own actions. I don’t expect any higher power to come along and fix everything while forgiving us all for making such a mess of it all.

Where the Wild Things Are: Do You Believe in Fairies?

Originally posted to ‘BackWash: Where the Wild Things Are’ newsletter, June, 28, 2003.

Some Pagans believe in brownies, fairies, and assorted little people. I’d like to. But, the practical side of me just can’t quite let me. How cute it would be to see little elven creatures frolicky around in your garden if you woke up early enough some fresh morning.

But, what would those creatures do the other 23 hours of the day? Could you imagine turning over a wheelbarrow to find several fairies sheltering under it from the heat? Then, that really practical side of me gets into the mess angle. Where do fairies sleep, pee or bury their deceased? Every living thing makes waste. Some more than others, look at all the pollution people make compared to animals in general.

So, though fairies would be sweet, magical and all that, I just can’t accept them as more than a pretty fantasy. I like them for desktop wallpaper on the computer.

What do you believe? Don’t let me knock your convictions if you feel otherwise. I’d like to hear from someone who believes and has answers for my practical questions.

Where the Wild Things Are: What Kind of Pagan are You?

Originally posted to ‘BackWash: Where the Wild Things Are’ newsletter, July, 28, 2003.

There are so many choices to make once you decide you are a Witch. First, what kind of Witch are you, are you even a Witch at all? Some prefer to call themselves Wiccans. To me, Wicca is the new religion based on ancient witchcraft. We don’t know a great deal about witchcraft, the old ways. Things weren’t written down they were instead passed along from mouth to mouth. Many things were lost along the way, of course. Some were never passed along at all I’m sure. So, modern Witchcraft is only based on what the Witches were doing a hundred or a thousand years ago.

Still, I consider myself a Witch, not a Wiccan. I like to think my beliefs are the older ways, rather than based on the revamping of the older ways which was started with Wicca in the 60’s and 70’s. I don’t put Wicca down as not being true to the old ways or some how not worthy as a Pagan religion. It’s just not right for me, personally.

Once you get past the Witch versus Wiccan stage you look at all the flavours in being a Witch/ Wiccan. There are so many. Some are based on different cultures like German, Italian, Egyptian, Irish, Celtic, and Native Indians. Others are based on different elements like water, fire, and ice. Then there are traditions based on mythical things like unicorns, dragons, mermaids and fairys. Don’t assume being a myth to our modern culture makes it a myth in reality. People who believe in dragons and fairies and follow that style of Witchcraft are not just playing around, they believe.

Here are some of the basic flavours and styles of witches to help get you started. You should find out at least a few things about each one. That way you will be making an informed choice when you pick which path you will follow.

Alexandrian

British Traditionalist

Celtic Wicca

Caledonii (Hecatine)

Dianic

Eclectic

Gardnerian

Pictish

Seax-Wica (or Saxon) Wicca

Strega

Teutonic (Nordic)

Hedge Witch

Solitary

Asatru

Druidism

Shamanism

Faery